Parent, Painter, and Professional: Balancing a creative career and parenthood
If you had asked me a decade ago what my adult life would look like, I might have painted a picture of quiet mornings, a steaming mug of coffee, and uninterrupted stretches of studio time. Maybe I’d answer an email or two and take a meeting in the afternoon, my art and my career humming along in harmony.
No one warned me about the crumbs smooshed onto the pages of my sketchbook, the urgent emails typed with a fussy baby on my lap, or how making art sometimes feels impossible yet still necessary.
The Myth of Balance
There’s a lot of talk about “balance” these days, as if it’s a destination that you can arrive at if you just try hard enough, a tidy place like curated rows of aspirational Instagram photos. But real life (at least mine) is a LOT messier. Some days, I feel like I am precariously juggling warring factions of my life—paints, work emails, applesauce pouches all vying for my attention.
Motherhood has added new depth and chaos to my days. Who knew having two children in two years would upend my creative process? My children are tiny little wild things, enthusiastic, endlessly curious, and they don’t care that I have a meeting at 10 or an end-of-day deadline. They want to show me their Hot Wheels. They want to be cuddled. They want to hit the keys on my laptop and scribble in my sketchbook.
I used to think I had to keep my creative life separate from my parenting life, as if the two were fierce competitors for my time and energy, and one had to suffer at the expense of another. It didn’t help that I was given a nugget of advice by an art professor in college—advice I now recognize as toxic—he said confidently to the room that once you decide to have children, your art career is over. But haHA! I have found that’s not exactly true. I’ve been learning to let the boundaries blur, and I have found that parenthood and a creative life can be one and the same.
Theodosia sends very important client emails.
Letting It All Blend
My son will occasionally make a cameo during virtual meetings. My daughter crawls up onto my lap as I try to sketch out a concept. They see me work, and sometimes (often, in fact), they see me struggle. The truth is, creativity doesn’t always flow on demand, and the to-do list is often longer than hours in a day. And sometimes that creative project takes a backseat to more practical concerns—chores, errands, playdates.
But my children also see me make things. They see me endlessly explore and solve creative problems. They see me lean into the subjects that I love and inspire me. They see me devote time to art and inquiry and invite them to participate and learn with me.
I hope, in some small way, this teaches them that making things, whether it’s art, or a business, or a family, is worth the effort and fulfillng in itself. I hope they learn that you can be a little bit tired and frazzled and still make something beautiful. That it’s okay to make a mess and be unapologetically into the things that bring joy.
Giving Yourself (and Others) Grace
Balancing career, art, and parenting isn’t really about getting it “right.” It’s about staying present, forgiving yourself on the days you drop a ball or two, and celebrating the moments of connection—when your work and your family and your art all line up, just for a moment, and you feel something special.
If you’re a parent and a creative (or hoping to become one), here’s what I’ve learned so far:
Set gentle expectations. Some days will be wildly productive; others, not so much. Both will happen and both are okay.
Let your worlds overlap. It’s okay if your kids see you working. It’s okay if you draw with them, or brainstorm ideas while folding laundry. If anything, it will inspire them to follow their own interests.
Find your “enough.” Maybe you won’t finish that painting this week, or hit every deadline perfectly. You’re still showing up and doing what you can when you can.
Ask for help. It doesn’t make you less creative or less capable. Community matters. Friendship and family matters. My husband and I don’t have a lot of family nearby, so you bet I lean on my friends for support!
Celebrate the small wins. A finished sketch. A client email sent. A hug from your child. It all counts, and it’s all enough
Obviously, I don’t have a perfect formula, and these are things I have to actively remind myself of when I feel overwhelmed. Most days, I’m winging it, some days I am straight-up drowning—but I am working to find moments of meaning and creativity in the midst of chaos.
If you’re juggling all these things, I see you, I get it, it’s ok to scream in a pillow every once in a while. But, I also suspect you’re doing better than you think.